Having My First Baby at 40: My Journey, Fears, and Experience
Having a baby at 40 was never something I planned for, nor did I think it would be as smooth as it turned out to be. When I look at my little bundle of joy now, all the worries and fears I had before seem so distant. But getting here was a journey filled with uncertainty, fear, and ultimately, an incredible amount of joy.
Of course, this also brought a new kind of pressure. If we wanted another child, I knew time wasn’t on our side. I’ve read that some women go into early menopause after having a baby in their 40s, and that’s something I now have to consider.
What changed my perspective was losing my mother. With her passing, I saw my family shrinking, and it made me realize how much I wanted to build a family of my own. My partner and I had discussed adoption as an option, which took some pressure off, but ultimately, I knew I wanted to experience motherhood firsthand.
Pregnancy at 40: My Experience
I had always heard that pregnancy at an older age was more difficult, but I actually found it to be easier than I expected. However, my energy levels were definitely lower than what younger mums probably experience. I was exhausted all the time, especially in the first and third trimesters. Even simple tasks, like going for a walk, left me breathless.
Cravings were another surprise. I’ve always had a sweet tooth, but during pregnancy, I lost all interest in chocolate and sugary treats. Instead, I craved fresh fruit, vegetables, and healthy foods—which turned out to be a blessing, considering I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes.
Because I was over 35, my pregnancy was classified as a "geriatric pregnancy" or "advanced maternal age." This meant extra monitoring, more scans, and additional blood tests. While the term "geriatric" was unsettling, the medical care I received in Australia was exceptional. Medicare covered many of the necessary tests, which was a huge relief.
That being said, there’s a big advantage to being an older mum—I have so many experienced friends to turn to for advice. I’ve learned from their parenting journeys and have an incredible support system that I might not have had if I were younger.
Final Thoughts
Having my first baby at 40 has been a whirlwind of emotions, surprises, and lessons. While I had my fears—about my age, my ability to conceive, and my energy levels—I wouldn’t change a thing. Motherhood has brought an incredible new dimension to my life, and despite the challenges, I feel more fulfilled than ever.
For anyone out there wondering if they’re "too old" to have a baby, my advice is this: Don’t let fear dictate your decisions. If I had let my fear of childbirth stop me, I wouldn’t have my beautiful daughter today. Motherhood isn’t about the perfect age—it’s about love, readiness, and the willingness to embrace the journey, no matter when it begins.
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The Fear of Pregnancy After 40
When I was 35, a doctor told me that if I wanted kids, I should start trying before I turned 40. They warned me that after 40, I would likely need fertility treatments. That stuck with me for years and made me apprehensive about my ability to conceive naturally.
Another worry that still lingers is the fear of being mistaken for my child’s grandmother. I don’t want my daughter to be teased at school because her mum looks older than the other parents. It’s a small thing, but as a mother, I think about how she might feel when she hears comments like, "Is that your grandma?" It’s a thought that has stayed with me since pregnancy.
Another worry that still lingers is the fear of being mistaken for my child’s grandmother. I don’t want my daughter to be teased at school because her mum looks older than the other parents. It’s a small thing, but as a mother, I think about how she might feel when she hears comments like, "Is that your grandma?" It’s a thought that has stayed with me since pregnancy.
Conceiving at 39: A Pleasant Surprise
Despite the warnings, my journey to pregnancy was much easier than I anticipated. My partner and I started trying when I was 39, and to my surprise, I got pregnant quickly. I had prepared myself for months, if not years, of trying, with ovulation strips, temperature tracking, and all the other tools people use when trying to conceive. But before I even got through my first cycle of learning about my body, I was already pregnant. I felt incredibly blessed, especially knowing that so many women struggle to conceive.Of course, this also brought a new kind of pressure. If we wanted another child, I knew time wasn’t on our side. I’ve read that some women go into early menopause after having a baby in their 40s, and that’s something I now have to consider.
Overcoming the Fear of Childbirth
For a long time, I wasn’t even sure I wanted kids. Not because I didn’t like the idea of being a mother, but because I was absolutely terrified of giving birth. I hate going to the doctor, and the thought of blood tests, injections, and the actual process of giving birth was enough to make me put off pregnancy for years.What changed my perspective was losing my mother. With her passing, I saw my family shrinking, and it made me realize how much I wanted to build a family of my own. My partner and I had discussed adoption as an option, which took some pressure off, but ultimately, I knew I wanted to experience motherhood firsthand.
The Moment I Found Out I Was Pregnant
Finding out I was pregnant was both exciting and nerve-wracking. I took five tests just to be sure, and I wanted to surprise my partner in a special way. But I was so nervous that I accidentally broke the backlight of his car while trying to open the gate! While he went out to get supplies to fix it, I set up a treasure hunt to reveal the news. It was April Fool’s Day, so I was worried he might think it was a prank. But once he realized it was real, his reaction was priceless.Pregnancy at 40: My Experience
I had always heard that pregnancy at an older age was more difficult, but I actually found it to be easier than I expected. However, my energy levels were definitely lower than what younger mums probably experience. I was exhausted all the time, especially in the first and third trimesters. Even simple tasks, like going for a walk, left me breathless.
Cravings were another surprise. I’ve always had a sweet tooth, but during pregnancy, I lost all interest in chocolate and sugary treats. Instead, I craved fresh fruit, vegetables, and healthy foods—which turned out to be a blessing, considering I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes.
Because I was over 35, my pregnancy was classified as a "geriatric pregnancy" or "advanced maternal age." This meant extra monitoring, more scans, and additional blood tests. While the term "geriatric" was unsettling, the medical care I received in Australia was exceptional. Medicare covered many of the necessary tests, which was a huge relief.
Emotional and Mental Challenges of Pregnancy at 40
One of my biggest emotional struggles was feeling out of sync with my friends. Most of them had their kids years ago, and I had missed out on the whole "mum life" phase they went through together. I wasn’t invited to all the kids’ birthday parties back then, and now that I have my own child, I sometimes feel like I’m experiencing it alone.That being said, there’s a big advantage to being an older mum—I have so many experienced friends to turn to for advice. I’ve learned from their parenting journeys and have an incredible support system that I might not have had if I were younger.
Relationship Changes and Maturity
Pregnancy and having a newborn put a strain on any relationship. My partner and I had our ups and downs, but I do believe that being older helped us navigate those challenges better. When you’re young, it’s easy to walk away from difficult situations. But at this stage in life, we’re more willing to work through the tough moments together.Final Thoughts
Having my first baby at 40 has been a whirlwind of emotions, surprises, and lessons. While I had my fears—about my age, my ability to conceive, and my energy levels—I wouldn’t change a thing. Motherhood has brought an incredible new dimension to my life, and despite the challenges, I feel more fulfilled than ever.
For anyone out there wondering if they’re "too old" to have a baby, my advice is this: Don’t let fear dictate your decisions. If I had let my fear of childbirth stop me, I wouldn’t have my beautiful daughter today. Motherhood isn’t about the perfect age—it’s about love, readiness, and the willingness to embrace the journey, no matter when it begins.
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